In fashion we have been introduced to the boyfriend blazer, the boyfriend cardigan, the boyfriend jeans and a variety of other androgynous pieces of clothing. When styled and mixed with thought and in balance, in a woman's wardrobe these may represent relaxedness or power or both. Today in school we faced an issue that has lately been crossing my mind rather frequently. I study international business and in cross-cultural management we discussed boys and girls, and masculinity and femininity. In a chart measuring a MAS-value (apparently measures the similarity of the values of the men and women at the same workplace, which initiate masculinity or femininity, correct me if I'm wrong) and I realized that according to this study, in Finland supposedly the men and women are very similar in their values. Could this relate to why here us, the women, have happily adapted androgynous to the point when we are de-feminized?
Yes, I know, this country is all about the equality of men and women, and it seems like this ideology has gone as far as our wardrobes. The only sad thing is that equality has been confused with women needing to become more like a man and therefore femininity needs to be hidden.
A while ago I had a discussion (which I have since shared with quite a few other friends) with a very good gay friend who knows style and happened to have just come back from Stockholm. He compared the style of the women in Helsinki with the women in Stockholm and wondered aloud how the women in Stockholm manage to look so much prettier. He referred to a web sight that displays the style of the Finnish (mainly women) to the world, hel-looks.com, and was astonished how we can find this style "stylish". I went home and looked through the pictures and while many of the styles were quirky and fun I realized a complete lack of femininity. Big baggy clothes piled on top of each other hiding the figures of the women, flee-market finds (search for uniqueness? modesty?) and pieces so bravely put together that the most sensitive need to look away. Maybe it isn't about wanting to look attractive, but maybe the Finnish "style" has got something to do with the fact that we are trying to hide our femininity. Whether it is in order to not to be seen as vulnerable, tender, fragile or needy. Maybe the message these women try to convey is that "I can manage". But this all seems to be at the cost of loosing their femininity (the woman identity?). I believe the difference between the Finns and the Swedes is in the femininity. Then again the Swedes were pretty close to Finns on the MAS chart but could it be it's their men leaping to the feminine side...?
But to me femininity doesn't represent weakness. I've been reading a book(!!/not a magazine) by John and Stasi Eldredge called "Captivating - a journey to a woman's soul" which talks a lot about femininity and the longings of a woman's heart. One of these longings is to unveil beauty, to be captivating. This is where, on my part, fashion kicks in. The reason why we, as women, are so obsessed with clothes is that we want them to highlight the beauty we have in us. This is what I want to do with the clothes I pick for my customers. What the book also talks about is the strength of the women, that it doesn't need to be either/or, beauty or strength, but both qualities can be found in a woman and should be found in a woman as they are somewhat correlated. I believe when femininity is suppressed with clothes, instead of hiding their weaknesses women end up hiding their strength i.e. beauty. It just seems that beauty is something the modest Finns have become so afraid of that they have started confusing "stylish" with "not feminine". Or even worse, decided to stop caring all together.
The American's on the other hand were pretty much on the other end on the MAS list. In class we talked about how chivalry is almost offensive to a Finnish woman, but taken granted in the States. There women aren't afraid to be women, they cherish their femininity and use it to their advantage and to a great extent this can be seen in their fashion icons displayed in the media. They do wear quirky clothes and boyfriend pieces, but what they always manage is the sense of femininity. They convey it through balanced outfits where femininity takes the advantage of masculinity without letting it overrule itself (boyfriend jeans with high heels or a blazer with a cute dress underneath). These are the women who can get the men on their knees as well as the fashion world (I'm not saying this is the purpose of dressing up though, I'm just mentioning how powerful beauty is...). Femininity is empowering and a smart woman uses hers to her advantage.
I have not meant that the Finnish women are not beautiful and I have not meant that the Swedish men are all gay. I haven't said that the Finnish way to dress "stylishly" according to the Finnish fashionable opinion is not fashionable elsewhere, but what I have meant to do is ask why have we in Finland confused feminine with being weak or at least with something negative as it seems we try to avoid it by all means..? Or are we just afraid of it?
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